Lael Stone and the Importance of Self Care

 

 I have long been a fan of Lael Stone. In her own words she is "an Australian Speaker, Educator and Author who’s passion is supporting parents to understand their children, helping adults process their own childhood trauma and creating education systems that value emotional awareness. Everything is based on one fundamental principle – connection and compassion. The purpose of her work is to help all humans understand themselves better and be inspired to live the life they desire." https://laelstone.com.au/

While much of her work has been with families and children and supporting parents to raise emotionally intelligent children so that they can become emotionally intelligent adults, her work is larger than this. You might think what has this got to do with Cerebral Amyloid Angiopathy? 

I am writing this today because I have just listened to a podcast that Lael did with "The Imperfects" titled Lael Stone-Take Care of Yourself (3 Feb 2023, S4, E48) Click here to listen.

The stories she tells about the importance of self care when parenting children is just as relevant to our lives in general and I think becomes increasingly important when you become a carer. The life of a carer can become overwhelmingly heavy and carers often put themselves and their own needs way down the list and if they don't, they feel guilty and they feel selfish. Perfectly understandable but unsustainable in the long term for your own mental health and the task of being a compassionate carer and partner.  Lael says that it is not selfish but you can be a better partner, parent and in my thinking a carer if you prioritise self care.

Ben Crowe and Lael Stone both talk about the fact that "we are worthy of being supported". When you are a carer you may need to seek support from people around you to make the opportunities for self care. 

One of Lael's comments on this podcast that struck a chord for me was having a conversation with your partner about "I'm finding this really tricky ... how's it feeling for you .... what do you need .... this is what I need .... what would feel better". With someone with diminished cognitive function, this of course is not necessarily going to work. However, I detect times when my husband shows some insight into what is happening to him and us and I think that at these times these may be some questions that I can use. 

 We all know that there are lots of tricky times when you care for a loved one with CAA. This podcast by Lael Stone has helped me, maybe it will help you.

 

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