Cerebreal Amyloid Angiopathy is Unrelenting

It's all very well to talk about the power of vulnerability and the personal growth that can come out of that. You can have all the counselling that you need and want, and prepare yourself for your life and what may lie ahead of you. You can talk about being in The Arena (see post on 15/4/25) but sometimes and some days you can just feel sad.

Today is such a day. My husband is more confused than is typical for him, he is aware of how confused he feels and he doesn't quite know what to do with himself. The combination of his own insight and observing him and helping him with his difficulty doing some of the simplest tasks with his phone is hard. It is just plain sad and there is no denying it. There is no point denying it. I am still in the arena but feeling a bit deflated and on my haunches, not quite ready to stand up again. 

In the words of Ben Crowe and others, you can't control what happens to you but you can control your response to it. My response today is to feel sad, to sit with that emotion and not to expect too much of myself or him. It is OK to be sad, you don't have to be stoic. But Cerebral Amyloid Angiopathy is unrelenting and that is just plain sad.

If you want to find out more about Ben Crowe and his work have a look at this link. 

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